Twas the night before school and all through the house, the cries of the teacher could be heard by even the mouse. I looked from my covers at my husband with despair and asked him again if I really must go back there. To which he replies ‘I’m sorry sweetheart, but you must. You’re the teacher and you’re needed, you must really get up!’
In all seriousness, I have to go back to school tomorrow. It is a teacher training day but I already feel tired knowing exactly how busy this next half term is going to be. The dark days don’t help either. Correct me if I’m wrong but I feel like all teachers feel the same. Parents are jumping for joy that their children are going back to school in a couple of days but the teachers are sighing and dreading what is to come.
I feel awful that I haven’t touched a single piece of marking or planning at all during this holiday which isn’t the norm for me! But I needed the time to be with my family and to spend the holiday with my new husband. We are always so busy that we often forget that seeing each other is a necessity and I do really need to find a good work-life balance.
I think Slimming world will help me to do that. I’m always so tired and it doesn’t help that I’m eating rubbish and barely exercising! I’m severely overweight and the doctor told me the last time I went that I am bordering on obese! An incredibly scary thought. Bring on Wednesday when I will be walking through the doors of my Slimming world group to join a, hopefully, very welcoming bunch of people who won’t judged.
Don’t get me wrong, I love my job but it is one of those jobs where you simultaneously love it and hate it. The marking = hate. Seeing a child get something that they didn’t understand before = love. The darker days really don’t help. I tend to go to work in the dark and leave work in the dark.
I hate the stigma attached with teaching. The idea that we get all of these holidays and barely do anything but we do so much work behind the scenes. People don’t see the marking, planning, preparation and behaviour management. The nights that I come home at 6, make dinner, do some more marking, then go to bed: having barely said a word to my partner.
Some people will go ‘Well, you signed up for this job and you knew what was coming.’ You’re right I did which is why I deserve my holidays because I work so damn hard during the term-times. I reap so much reward and satisfaction from teaching that in the long run it seems so worth while.
I know deep down that I love going to school because I often have a child come to me in an excited blur to tell me about their holiday. Or when a child writes a fabulous description or poem and I’m the one they want to tell. There’s so much joy to garner from a child understanding something that before I was simply staring into a blank face.
I just need to keep telling myself that I can do this, even on those days where I feel like I have been hit by a freight train going at 100mph.
My next post will be on Thursday after I have joined Slimming world. EEEEEKKKK, very exciting but nerve-wracking!
See you on the other side,
Mrs S x